I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
