let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
