Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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