Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can text with my tongue
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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