Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
