At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
