I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
