I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
