A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
