Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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