U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
