What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize