there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
