Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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