Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
