They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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