1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hello my rib-scented angel!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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