Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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