I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I smell stomach acid.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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