plz talk dirty to me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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