My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You left your phone here
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