So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
