it wasn't lemon gatorade
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
