ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
