I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize