Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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