You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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