Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
