hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
