New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
