He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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