i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
