was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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