butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
