I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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