he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
