I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
