I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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