Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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