U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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