Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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