I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize