let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
