No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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