Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
