i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We need to rekindle our bromance
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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