You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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