girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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