I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
