Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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