I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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