just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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