i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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