i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
