i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
where are my pants?
in the oven.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
