Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
