Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
