i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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