carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
