there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
