ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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