Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
