The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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