one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
dude. I can hear the air.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
