you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
