i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize