How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
In America we eat man semen.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
