Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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