ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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