census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
do herpes really smell.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
